Excellent blog for people who like excellent blogs

Every Friday we're faced with the dilemma of epic proportions.
If someone told you, "I'm going to tell you a really big secret but only if you promise not to tell anyone else about it"..... of course you would make a deal with the devil and then roll around in secrets like Scrooge McDuck rolls in a vault full of gold.

We've got secrets more precious than gold.  But she shan't tell any since we are loyal, faithful friends and we cannot spill the secret.  Even if our lives depended on it. But we will tell you soon because holding on to a secret this good is killing us and we have to drop it as soon as possible.

What you can know is that 1.3.2 is underways and that pretty soon you will be able to scream your face off at the Abusement Park.  Oliver & Riggs will have some awesome new weapons and the skills ratings will be fixed!


And THIS is the best thing we've seen all week.  It was submitted to us on our Facebook page BATTLE BEARS ON FACEBOOK  



Your Regularly Scheduled Blogram

Busy is our first, middle, and last names. That's right, we all legally go by and respond to Busy Busy Busy, Esquire.

The third.

It's not a bad problem for ME to have, actually. I have plenty to keep me busy all day, I get paid and I don't have to be too near hobos if I don't want to be. For you, however, it is a bad problem because, despite my being busy creating fantastical works of fiction, I have NOTHING TO SHOW YOU TODAY. 

Boo-hoo, right? Cry me a river and then sail a boat down it. Oh, right, you probably can't afford one. Maybe float a hobo down it instead and sit on his chest to stay afloat. Enjoy your wet ankles and leech ridden toes. Mind the wake as I go speeding past in my Job Boat, laughing through the sweater tied around my neck as I pour expensive champagne into your river of sadness to lubricate the hull of my sick ride.

Actually, I lied a little, I DO have something to show you. A small "teaser", if you will, related to what we have been PLAY TESTING all afternoon! BATTLE BEARS ZERO MULTIPLAYER is nearing its final stages!

There's still a lot of work to do but we're getting there! EXCITED? YOU SHOULD BE.



Sick Flow

Permit me if you would, for just a moment, to get real. 

Things is about to pop off the chizzy, mad style, pumpernicklin' you full of fresh baked giddies like you wouldn't believe, ya heard? It's not often I have to bust out my Raptionary and make a fool understand, but it's also not often that BBR gets ENTIRELY NEW WEAPONS WITH ALL NEW MECHANICS, either.

You ever been poisoned? I don't recommend it. You should definitely tell your enemies that it's great, though. That'll show em.

You could do that OR you could simply scoop up Riggs' all new weapon, THE MOTHER OF NATURE when the 1.3.2 update drops (possibly as soon as mid to late August).


This weapon gives wizened logs everywhere a bad name because it's sole function is NOT to sit quietly in a sun speckled glade and provide shelter to small forest mammals. No, its only desire is to suffocate you in a thick cloud of purple doom and deal poison damage over time should you manage to escape.

Well, more specifically, that's the function of the obnoxiously large berry it spits out, but I would say that the log is equally responsible for all the havoc its berry baby ushers into the lives of others.

Not to be outdone, our friend Oliver will have available to him a handy jar of potent Sake, the salary man's memory muddler of choice! Oliver's SAKE BOMB!

A direct hit from Oliver-san while he's wielding this will have a profoundly involuntary effect on how you experience the world around you. Public drunkenness, while hilariously easy to take advantage of, is a dangerous game. A game you may or may not be playing by choice should you round a corner and find yourself staring down the sticky, fermented barrel of this bad boy.



Eternal Sunshine Of A Beautiful Mind

Like the ever burning, passionate rays of the sun, here I come beaming through your window carrying both prevention and cause of certain cancers (too much of a good thing, right? And I'm the best thing).

Today I think I am about to prevent the cancer of boredom and humdrumness in your lives and keep them from developing forever. Bear in mind that forever is, like, 4 minutes in internet terms.

Prepare yourself for an exciting tidbit immediately followed by an Immeasurably MINDEXPLODING new weapon announcement for the BBR 1.3.2 update. 

Ready? TOO BAD!

The "Abusement Park" lit up in all of its horrible, horrible glory!

INCOMING NEW WEAPON: Oliver's O.C.O. Gauntlet!

Looks like something Graham would build, doesn't it? I'm not saying he did, but I'm not saying I'm not responsible for writing the BB storyline, either. WINK.

What does it do? It's not my job to know that, maybe ask a less stupid question. Actually, no, let ME ask YOU that very same dumb question: What do you think this bad boy is even capable of?! I mean, LOOK AT IT. What CAN'T it do?

PS- Michael will be livestreaming today at 3:30 central. I don't know what he plans on doing, but it can't possibly hold a candle to WOOD. You can, though, go burn something down**


**Don't burn anything down ever.



Where The Blogld Things Are

Let the Wild Rompus happen somewhere else because we're adults here and we will all remain cool, calm and collected while I BLOW YOUR STUPID MINDS STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!

Have fun getting them back, if you can even remember what a moon is. 

Today I'm going to spill the proverbial beans on what the BATTLE BEARS ROYALE 1.3.1 update contains! So, sit down, get back up and go buy a seatbelt, sit down again and strap in, you're in for a WILDthingsRIDE!

1.3.1 will be released gradually over 4 weeks and, furthermore, each time a new set of items is released they will be 50% off for a full 24 hours! Mos def keep your eye out for them, your coupon clippin' mom would hate for you to miss out on a sweet deal. All new releases will be live noon (CST) each Thursday so plan accordingly!

As of right now we are extending our first release 50% sale until tomorrow and now includes new items for Riggs as well as Wil and Oliver's Steamshot. We apologize of things seem a little confusing but all will soon become clear as the updates begin rolling out.
All in all, our first release was a great success and the crash rate is a record low thanks to all the beta team for their help with testing. Thanks guys and gals, truly <3

ALSO! All forum appreciation members should have already received their requested items. If you did not receive any items it is most likely because you missed the cut off (7:30 pm CST) or because an e-mail was entered that our system did not recognize. If you don't think either scenario applies to you, let us know and we'll see what we can do. Keep in mind, however, that we deleted all requests after the cut off so if you were cutting it close, that's probably what happened.
Lastly, we heard that the 4th of July was coming up and no one cared. Leave it to ol' SkyVu to make it special, children, we've got something up our very handsome sleeves ;D

A picture or our release schedule timeline for the new updates!


AN IN PROGRESS SNEAK PEAK of the new BBR level slated for update 1.3.2!